Methods of Distraction
by kelles
Summary: Seras is bothered by the noises her Master & Integral make when she is trying to sleep and tries to find something to block out their noises of lust. Lemon & spoilers. ONE SHOT. [C]


**Author's Note:** Fic is manga-based and features a vampire Integral so she may seem slightly OOC but remember she is a vampire in this fic. Written for the 30 Kisses Community theme of Radio Cassette Player. Other pairings are talked about or have subtext. Set after volume 5 of the manga so possible spoilers. Oh yeah, and this is a lemon.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hellsing.

* * *

Seras blushed as she drank a goblet of blood in her room. They were at it again. She wondered how Integral could go from being a virgin to acting like _this_. Tonight it was Alucard. Last night it had been Anderson. She wondered if Walter would be in her bed as well, if he were still here. _Why didn't that happen to me when I turned into a vampire?_

_Because you have not embraced your gift the way my Master has, Seras Victoria., _Alucard spoke into her mindeven there his voice was filled with disdain.

_Master, how can you talk to me while you and Integra are…doing **it**? _Seras asked him.

_Quite easily. You'd be surprised at some of the things I can do_. _Maybe someday you can see for yourself._ Alucard said before moaning aloud.

_Master please! I don't want to hear those things_. Seras wondered if Integral would allow her to have a different room – away from Alucard's so she wouldn't have to listen to the two of them. She wanted another room so badly but the thought of asking for it made her nervous as hell. _What am I supposed to say? Sir Integral, I hear you and my Master fucking and it rather disturbs me. Can I please have a room as far away as possible? Yeah, like that would ever happen. _Seras knew that there had to be another solution.

_Don't lie to me, Seras, you like listening to the noises both Integral and I make while we're doing it. Don't forget, I know what you are feeling and can see the thoughts inside of your mind. Right now you are both aroused and jealous. The question is, are you jealous of Integral or me? And who is it that turns you on?_

Seras screamed out loud in frustration. She was sick of Alucard reading her thoughts, feelings, and tormenting her with them. What made it even worst was the fact that he was right. That single fact annoyed her more than she could stand.

---

Seras didn't think she could stand another day of their noise. She tried everything she could think of but still, she heard them. One day she even tried sleeping in the kitchen pantry. It was quiet but she just could not fall asleep outside her coffin. Seras looked forward to the days Integral was with Anderson, his room was too far away for her hear anything. She was determined to find a solution to her noise problem.

The idea came to her one night when she was watching the new soldiers shoot at targets. One of the new recruits had gotten in trouble for listening to his ipod. He was not the brightest chap. That's it, she thought, I just need something to cover up their noise. But, now can I get an ipod? They are rather expensive. She didn't want to ask Integral for the money now. Hellsing was still trying to recover from the expenses of war. Then she remembered a conversation she had with Walter before the whole bloody war.

Seras had been helping the Hellsing retainer install a new stereo system. She suspected he didn't really need her but was desired her company. She didn't mind. Seras quite liked spending time with him. For some reason she felt more human around him. He had found what looked like an old radio in the record cabinet.

"What is that bloody thing?" Seras asked. It looked like an old black radio with a big old pair of headphones.

"Ahh, I remember this. I bought this for Sir Integral on her 14th birthday. She used to play the most annoying music to keep your Master out of her bedroom at night. It was rather amusing." Walter explained, as he smiled at the memory.

"Annoying music?" She had asked.

"Yes, I believe it was that dreadful disco music during the 80's. That year, I knew all of the Bee-Gee's songs by hard." Walter had shuddered at the memory.

Seras had giggled at the thought of Alucard being kept away from Integral's room, not by blessings or crosses but bad music. "So what are you going to do with it?"

"I think we shall save it for a rainy day, Miss Victoria. You never know when it might come handy for you." Walter had replied.

She wondered how much have things changed since that day? _Too damn much,_she thought.

Her opportunity to look for the radio cassette player came a few days later. Seras thought that tonight was Anderson's turn. She had woken up to her Master's moaning and groaning last night. Sometimes having superhuman hearing was more of a curse then a blessing. Alucard wasn't around, Seras couldn't sense his presence_. He's probably out hunting stray vampires._ The fact that Alucard never asked her to go on missions hurt. He would ask Integral, of course, and even Anderson but never her and she was supposed to be his fledgling. She barely even saw Alucard and the only time he talked to her was when he could taunt her. She didn't really wish for his attention. Sometimes her Master's attention was a bad thing. Hell, I don't know what I want.

She decided it was probably safe to go up to Integral's office upstairs to look for the cassette player. If she had to listen to the two of them one more night she would just scream. Hopefully, the thing would be loud enough to drown out her Master's moans and groans.

Seras listened at the door – complete silence. She grinned, please that things were going well. Although she could have gone under the door as mist, Seras used the door knob. Using her powers for something as simple as opening a door seemed like such a waste. Of course Alucard would say she was not embracing her power but there was no pleasing him.

She walked over to the stereo cabinet and started to look for the cassette player. _Damn, I know it is here somewhere._

"Are you looking for something, Seras?" Integral asked standing behind her, as she slowly inhaled on a cigarillo.

Seras was afraid to look at her. She hadn't spent much time alone with Integral since she had become a vampire. There was something about her new form that both excited and frightened her. She tried to hide her feelings and grinned nervously at the Hellsing Chief. "I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't know you were here. I hope it is okay, I thought I had seen a radio cassette player in here awhile ago. No one was using it so I thought it'd be okay if I did." Seras stood up and couldn't help staring at Integral. She looked stunning tonight.

Integral the vampire was not dressed much different then she had as a human. It was the way in which she wore her clothes. She had on black trousers and a white silk blouse. She no longer wore suit jackets unless it was for a formal meeting. Integral's blouse was buttoned only to the center of her cleavage, allowing Seras to get a very nice view of her black lacy bra. She tried not to stare but Integral looked so enticing.

"Seras, you're staring. Is something wrong?" Integral asked her with a smirk.

The young vampire started to blush. "Oh sorry, Sir. I just haven't seen you much since your umm change."

"It is okay if you want to stare. I'm rather used to it…between Alexander and your Master." Integral took a few steps towards Seras.

"The cassette player, Sir?" Seras asked again.

Integral stood inches away from Seras. "Oh that old radio? I think Alucard asked me for it a few days ago. I thought it was odd. He mentioned something about donating it to an orphanage. He was supposed to drop it off with tonight before he went out hunting."

Seras clenched her fist and bit her lip. She hadn't even thought of the idea until just now. How had he known what she was going to do before she even did it?

"Did you need it for something, Seras?" Integral asked as she stared at Seras' lips.

Seras backed up a few more inches when her back hit the wall. "No reason, really. I-I-I just miss listening to music. Sometimes it helps me fall asleep, Sir."

Integral's eyes focused on a few drops of blood that had formed on her subordinate's mouth. She removed her glove and traced Seras' bottom lip with her finger before putting it in her mouth to remove the blood.

Seras stared in disbelief as she watched Integral lick her blood and it put all kinds of impure thoughts in her mind. "Sir?"

"Mmmm…delicious. Still a virgin, Seras? I'm surprised. " Integral asked her with a predatory grin. She pushed the vampire's hair from face and stroked it affectionately. Integral's fingers traced Seras' cool skin from her neck to her chest.

Seras nodded nervously, still not believing what was happening. She was about to be molested by Sir Integral. The thought excited her beyond belief.

"We'll have to do something about that." Integral whispered into her ear.

"We will?" Seras asked as she watched Integral unbutton her shirt. She moaned as Integral slipped her bare hand inside her blouse.

"But first, I think we should have some fun without the men." Integral purred before she crushed the vampire's mouth with a kiss. She lapped up the remaining blood from her lips and mouth.

"If you say so, Sir." Seras replied, barely able to speak.

"Tell me one thing first, Seras. Which one of them would you like to lose your virginity with? Your Master or Anderson?"

Seras tried to concentrate on Integral's question but she wasn't having much luck. Integral was licking Seras' neck, at the spot of her scar. She was finally able to visualize both scenarios. Picturing herself with Alucard that way disturbed her. He was like a father to her: An insane father but still a father. Next she pictured Anderson on top of her and doing all sorts of wicked things while Integral watched. Although it made her feel dirty, Seras liked the idea quite a bit.

"So?" Integral asked again.

"Alexander, Integral. He's kind of cute for a Catholic, but do you---"

"Do I what?" Integral asked as she slipped off the police girl's uniform top.

"Think you could watch?" Seras asked.

"Perhaps. I might even join you two." Integral said with her voice barely above a whisper.

Seras moaned as Integral touched her between her legs. But Integral was just beginning. Seras felt she would lose her mind from the pleasure Integral caused as she bit down hard on her neck and fed directly from her vein. _Now I know why Anderson and Alucard don't mind sharing Integral. A little bit of Integral is better then none at all._ She smiled as Integral wrecked havoc on her body, enjoying every moment of it entirely too much.

After that night in Integral's office, Seras never minded the noise from Alucard's bedroom. A few nights she even got up the courage to watch. On those nights when she didn't, Seras connected with her Master's mind and experienced every sensation Alucard felt as he shagged Integral.


End file.
